Ken Rockwell

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31 авг. 2007 г., 08:52:41

31 авг. 2007 г., 08:52:41

Ken Rockwell

Сорри, что английский язык - накопано в интернете:

[quot]- Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
- Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P(erfect) Av(Awesome Priority) Tv(Totally Awesome Priority) M(ajestic)
- Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
- Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
- Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
- Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
- Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
- Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
- Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
- Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately
he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
- When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
- Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
- Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
- Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
- Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
- Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
- Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
- Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
- Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
- Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
- When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
- Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
- On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
- Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
- When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
- For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
- Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
- Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
- Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
- The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
- Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
- A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
- Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
- Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues[/quot]

31 авг. 2007 г., 14:29:44

Кошак Ромуальд

31 авг. 2007 г., 14:29:44

Re[Archie77]:

Хм... Баян, или не баян - но некоторые фразочки действительно остроумны.

31 авг. 2007 г., 22:29:14

Re[Archie77]:

Цитата:

от: Archie77
- Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

Теперь понятно, почему у ХС-ников все фотки темные и с вытянутой экспозицией